Stay
by ohdarlings
Summary: Maybe if he'd stay, it would be different. But he hadn't stayed, they weren't some romantic novel with happy ending. REPOST


_I felt like I have to repost it, don't ask why. I have no idea. This is for my perfect girls, you know you who are 3 Spercial thank you for Abby :) _

_I don't own The Good Wife, but I guess you know it._

_I hope you like it! :)_

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_My whole life waiting for the right time_

_To tell you how I feel._

_And though I try to tell you that I need you._

_Here I am without you._

_I feel so lost but what can I do?_

_'Cause I know this love seems real_

_But I don't know how to feel._

She could still feel the warmth of his lips on her forehead long moments after they were gone. All she could see in front of her eyes was him, standing there in front of her, looking at her sadly as he told her he finally understood, that she could never leave her husband, he could be never her first choice and he was tired of it, tired of her. He deserved better than that and she knew it. All she could feel was her own pain, mingled with the one she saw in his eyes, their pain over all that could have been and would never be. They needed each other the way fire needed oxygen, but there was no way he could continue this crazy journey she led him into. Especially not after what she did to him, to his firm, to his heart. He could not do it anymore.

"Stay," She whispered, still staring at him. Her voice was quiet, filled with all the pain she knew she could experience. She couldn't let him walk away, not this time, simply because she could not live without him in her life. Until now she pretended to be blind, she didn't want to see what she was in front of her. Until now, but obviously it was too late.

"Alicia…don't make it any more difficult than it already is." He sounded devastated, just as hurt and broken as she felt at that moment. He could not believe this was happening, almost as much as she could not but she could not just leave it as it was. She needed to tell him, needed to tell him how much he meant to her, and how her life could never go on without him. She needed to stop him from leaving like he did many times. She needed to convince him that she loved him, that she could change, that they could make it but still, she was so scared.

"Stay," she whispered once again, unable to say anything else. She did not even know where to start. She felt so much towards him, feelings that she could never explain. Yet she had to. She had to, because the only other option was to let him leave. "Please… Stay. I am sorry."

"I know." He said quietly. "But I have had enough of your apologies Alicia." His voice broke her heart. She could see that he really wanted to stay, really wanted to change his mind and forgive her but their history showed she would always leave him.

"Trust me." She begged, finally taking a step towards him. It was the first time she moved since he told her that he was leaving. "Please… Just stay."

He looked at her quietly for a moment. "I'm sorry," was all he said before he left, leaving her alone in her new office. She stood still, unable to move. Again, all she could see was him, his face, his eyes, which were always with full of love for her, only for her, his smile, that always warmed her heart even on the worst days. Now she would never able to see his handsome face, his smile or his caring eyes, there would not be any more regretted kisses and it was all her fault. She chose to be the First Lady Of Illinois and now she was paying the price for it. She knew she deserved it, after all the pain she caused him. He would never come back, after 20 years he had got tired of this game and had given up, given up on her.

She stared out into the hallway, her thoughts still running around in no particular order. She could not stop thinking about him, could not stop wishing that she'd have managed to find the right words to say and he'd have stayed. All she wanted was to be with him, and now he was taken away from her as well, and she could not even begin to tell him how much it hurt her and how much she needed him.

She felt that her legs could not hold her any longer. She sat, almost fell down, crashing against the floor of her office. She lay there for God-knows-how-long, just dreaming and wishing she'd have managed to tell him how much he meant to her.

Maybe if he'd stay, it would be different. But he hadn't stayed, they weren't some romantic novel with happy ending. Their story ended here, he would move on and she would continue her life. They would move on but never forget how much they meant to each other.

If only he'd stay…

_We say goodbye in the pouring rain_

_And I break down as you walk away._

_Stay, stay._

_'Cause all my life I felt this way_

_But I could never find the words to say_

_Stay, stay_


End file.
